Be a Somebody
Mauritius Times – 60 Years
Not long ago I had reason to attend a public lecture on certain aspects of health. The speaker held my attention for the entire course of his talk and on my way home I tried to analyse the reason for my rapt attention. The subject matter had not been out of the ordinary and certainly there had been no startling revelations made. Then I realised what the drawing power had been — the man’s personality. It was this that had attracted the audience.
What is this power from within that is coveted by so many and how can it be acquired?
Although a strong, or sparkling, personality is immediately recognised, it defies analysis. It is perhaps the very intangibility of the quality that makes it difficult to define.
However, personality or personal magnetism can be developed by all; it is not something given to a chosen few. I do not for a moment suggest that it is possible to become a Churchill or even a Danny Kaye, for these are outstanding personalities, but it is possible for anyone, however colourless at the moment, to make his niche in society by personal development.
Lack of personality will often hold a man back from commercial or professional advancement, although he may have the necessary ability, and it can doom him to social failure.
This, then, is reason enough to explain how nature’s secrets can be harnessed for mental and physical well-being. For to develop a positive personality is to hold one of the greatest assets that it is possible to possess.
Let us look, for one moment, at the individual with a negative personality and see what happens to him. At the office he will be afraid of his superior (quite without cause) and this will be registered by the employer, who will eventually lose confidence in him.
Socially, also, a negative personality will take its reckoning. At a dance or party, the odd man out will be seen to be lacking it this vital quality, although inwardly he may be abundantly anxious to take his part in the proceedings.
There are, again, complex difficulties that face the woman who has not cultivated her personality. She will listen to the conversation of others for untold hours without being able to contribute her own ideas, however interesting and helpful.
Even a physically attractive girl can remain on the shelf if she is afraid to reveal her true self, and many an otherwise eligible bachelor will retain his single status if devoid of personality.
To acquire this personal magnetism, it is necessary to gain ease and self-confidence, and this can only be accomplished by physical and mental exercises, plus a determined new approach to life.
The first thing to learn is the art of speech, how to hold the attention of your listener. To do this it is necessary to develop the magnetic gaze. When you begin to open a conversation always look directly between the eyes of your opposite, at a point at the root of the nose, look calmly and speak clearly. When he begins to speak to you drop your gaze to a point at the level, the instant you start to return the conversation, immediately direct your gaze back to that vital spot, right between the eyes.
This is a secret held in high regard and followed by many a screen personality, also in the East the magnetic gaze is projected by the yogi and adept.
A lack of personality can also be caused because of some undesirable trait of character, which will develop a guilt complex or sense of inferiority. To eliminate this, you must study yourself as carefully as you can. Decide what faults you have and write them down on a sheet of paper. One by one they should be tackled–idle gossip, quick temper, undesirable habits, all these can undermine the true personality.
You will find that as each personal fault is removed, a step is taken towards magnetic expansion.
Here is a future exercise destined to develop your personality and self-confidence. Its great therapeutic value has been proved over and over again.
The exercise must be practised when alone. This is vitally important. Draw up an easy chair in front of a looking glass so that there is a full reflection. Now spend a few minutes in taking very slow and deep breaths, inhaling to the full capacity of your lungs and exhaling slowly and evenly.
Facing your mirrored image, now start to hold a conversation in full, confident, tones. Let your words ring out, round each syllable and use gestures. Say anything you like but think your sentences out beforehand. This vital exercise will produce amazing results and will give the mind a stimulus.
I receive many letters from people telling me of their unhappiness. Because they find it impossible to make friends, they take a backward place in life and seem to miss the substance.
Help and advice must be shaped according to their individual needs, but in practically every examined case there is an undeveloped personality.
Not only can these unhappy people be helped by the development of their magnetic personalities, but every living soul can find harmony by the radiation of true expression.
One of the major stumbling blocks to the much-desired social sphere is the inability to open a conversation–not knowing what to say or what to talk about. With this feeling inside, the personality of the individual rapidly fades. So how can the difficulty be overcome?
Whether at a social gathering, dance, conference or merely with friends the “modus operandi” is the same, Consider your opening sentence. Make it clear and to the point. Look fully at your intended listener, using the “magnetic gaze.” Speak slowly and clearly and do not pour out quickly your words. This only confirms confusion of mind.
If the opportunity arises for you to make a social contact, start the conversation by making an interesting remark and one which needs a reply. Don’t start talking about yourself or your troubles. Find out what the other person is interested in and get him to discuss the subject with you. This way you will discover a route to his pet hobbyhorse and will learn something yourself.
I don’t mean you to keep silent while he does all the talking: ask questions, analyse points, then you will begin to flow, the ice will have been broken and it’s ten to one that the other fellow will go away thinking what an interesting person you are, and what is more important he will want to talk to you again.
We often hear the expression “colourless personality” and this reflects the outward appearance of the individual as well as the lack of radiation from within.
What can be more depressing and “negative” than a drab appearance? It is quite astounding how one can sense an introverted personality by their dress. We reflect and respond to colour values. Make an assessment of your mode of dress if you suffer from a lack of magnetism! See if you need colour and do something about it.
Don’t be content to carry on with long-seated customs if they are outmoded or negative or unsuitable. The alteration of a hairstyle can sometimes bring out hidden character and express the magnetism of a person.
I well remember an incident where a lady came to me for advice, because of the complex difficulties that life presented. She could not make friends and hated going out because she felt inferior and shy. Her clothes, although good, were as dull and as colourless as her personality.
After listening to her story of sadness, I gave her development exercises to follow and explained to her that she had a positive personality, which she could project if only she tried and believed.
Certain suggestions were made about a new hairstyle and a harmony of colour introduced into her clothes. The lady left, giving a vigorous assurance that the advice would be followed.
Some three months later my secretary told me one morning that Miss X was waiting to see me and could I spare her a few minutes. Recalling the name of the patient I asked the lady to come in, as I felt interested to see what progress had been made.
My astonishment was obvious, and the lady smiled with complete understanding. What a transformation from the bowed and meek little person who was at that time so tied up with loneliness and introspection! The first thing I recognised was a “personality.” I was attracted by the aura given out. Then her general appearance has pleasingly altered, the hair was lifted from her face to good effect, her dress was tasteful and showed a blending of the correct colours. Asking this ‘‘transformed” patient to sit down, I learned how her personality had developed from the “chrysalis” to the “butterfly.”
The exercises had been ardently followed and after the second week a marked improvement had been felt; this gave added courage and further confidence. She found that people were taking notice of her, and she actually felt the radiations from her presence.
Patients and students of magnetic development have confirmed many times the wonderful benefits that they have received from developing their “magnetic personality.”
Take courage and start at once to build your true self, look forward to your perfection from this personality and ease and self-confidence can spring new joy, new health, and a zest for living.
Dr Jon Evans, N.D., DSc., D.PSY – Psychologist and Hypnotherapist
5th Year – No 229
Friday 26th December 1958
Mauritius Times ePaper Friday 19 May 2023
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