On Being Kind and Behaving Like A True Human Being

By Dr R Neerunjun Gopee

We have just finished with Maha Shivaratri, and the Christians have started their fasting period. Since we are in that kind of atmosphere, I guess we may as well stay in inspirational mode. More so since I was prompted in this direction when I received a forwarded mail by a kindly soul, of the type that jerks you out of the routine and makes you think and think back too, as you go down the list of sayings and find that the meanings and messages, captured in their essence, strike a chord.

But first I must briefly narrate my pleasant encounter with one of the recent laureates, a handsome young lad who was accompanied by his mother. His teacher, who is known to me, requested that I receive him as he had some interest in medicine, but was somewhat confused about what line of study to take up. I felt honoured, and for the best part of an hour we had an interesting exchange, during the course of which a colleague who had had a career spanning the five continents dropped by, and he also joined in the conversation. We reached a conclusion after open discussions, and I felt happy that I had been able to guide a bright mind towards his career choice.

This is not the first time that such a situation has arisen in my professional life, but it is always a unique experience, and a very happy one for the youth are our future, and to steer them at a critical turning in their life makes us feel intimately involved in our country’s destiny – which is in their hands, and it behoves us to assist them as best we can.

So let’s see what the mail I got contains (italics).

Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.

Kindness will soothe, and give hope that with patience and perseverance the battle may still be won. An ex-Minister of Health once visited the Brown Sequard Mental Health Care Centre. He was so touched and so humbled by what he saw that he told the officer accompanying him, ‘who knows that, but for the grace of God, I too could have found myself here!’ His attitude towards everything and everybody changed. He was, though, one of a kind, possessed of culture and class, and rooted in superior understanding and humanity. Perhaps, someday, his tribe will increase…

A sharp tongue can cut your own throat. As an auntie of mine used to say, ‘la langue pena lezo.li batte coma li content.’ But if we are mindful, it does not have to, isn’t it?

If you want your dreams to come true, you mustn’t oversleep. That’s a tough one, I must admit, especially when one is young. But I guess it’s all right to oversleep sometimes…

Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important. I am learning, by myself, to assess facial expressions and correlate them with the personalities hiding behind them. Quite interesting, actually, though I cannot put it in words yet. I am getting closer to making out the hypocrites and the liars, very important in these days of false/artificial/ dispensable everything.

The best vitamin for making friends… B1. Sure; best formula too.

The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts. Only, some people don’t think, they let others do that for them and follow blindly. Think – and open up to the light of knowledge, the only sure guide to life.

 The heaviest thing you can carry is a grudge. Just shed it!

One thing you can give and still keep… is your word. Align your thoughts, words and deeds – and people will trust you, because you create a space of harmony around you in so doing.

You lie the loudest when you lie to yourself. Strip to birthday suit and look at yourself in the mirror. And accept the truth of you. Try to change if you think it’s needed – and feasible, which depends on age amongst other things.

If you lack the courage to start, you have already finished. Willpower can be cultivated.

One thing you can’t recycle is wasted time. The arrow of time moves only forward, as Ilya Prigogine of ‘Order out of chaos’ fame has argued in that book.

Your mind is like a parachute… it functions only when open. Many people seem to prefer it closed…

The 10 commandments are not a multiple choice. Quit – after I was done as a boy scout, I have never obeyed any command. After all, we are supposed to be living in a decent civilian society, not a banana republic isn’t it?

The pursuit of happiness is the chase of a lifetime! No need to pursue: just discover your true nature. The distance between You and Happiness is: nil.

It is never too late to become what you might have been. Learn what is your potential early on – but remember you may be late learner, and so do not get discouraged by anyone or anything.

Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right. Forget about the ones who don’t. Believe everything happens for a reason. If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it.

Just shun the people who don’t make their own or others’ lives worth it!

* Published in print edition on 24 February 2012