Of Love, Dowry, and Political Alliances

Socratic Dialogue

By Plutonix

In a bustling marketplace, amidst the lively chatter and fragrant spices, two old friends, Socrates and Cephalus, engage in a witty dialogue. The topic at hand? The curious case of Mauritius’ dwindling marriage rates. Their conversation, laced with humour and colourful metaphors, promises to explore the reasons behind this trend, weaving in social and economic factors with a touch of philosophy. But their conversation takes an unexpected turn, much like the twists and turns of a Mauritian back road. The love affair, once seemingly strong, between the Opposition parties appears to be on the rocks… Prepare to be swept away by this delightful exploration of love, commitment, the ever-changing Mauritian society, and the messy world of politics – all served with a generous helping of wit and wisdom.

Socrates: By Zeus’ beard, Cephalus! Have you heard the whispers on the wind regarding the Mauritian marriage market? Apparently, unions are dissolving faster than a politician’s promise after an election!

Cephalus: Indeed, Socrates! It seems commitment these days is as rare as a dodo sighting. The number of weddings is plummeting faster than a coconut off a palm tree during a cyclone!

Socrates: A most curious predicament! Can it be the gods are meddling with love’s arrows, or is there a more earthly explanation, perhaps a lack of rupees for a lavish wedding feast?

Cephalus: Fear not, Socrates, the gods are likely vacationing in Maldives, leaving us mortals to our own romantic entanglements. Statistics Mauritius, bless their data-collecting souls, point to a multitude of reasons for this decline.

Socrates: Do enlighten me, good Cephalus. Don’t hold back, even if it shakes the very foundations of Mount Piton!

Cephalus: Buckle up, Socrates! Apparently, with women wielding the power of pay cheques as hefty as sugar cane stalks, they no longer see marriage as a necessary upgrade. They’re too busy soaring like phoenixes to settle for a gilded cage!

Socrates: Aha! So, the fair maidens are spreading their wings and leaving the nest, leaving poor bachelors high and dry like a beached boat! But what of the men, Cephalus? Don’t they yearn for a wife’s companionship, even if it means occasional nagging about stray socks?

Cephalus: Yearn they may, Socrates, but the allure of cohabitation without the legal ball and chain is too tempting for many. Why buy the whole cow when you can, ahem, enjoy the communal pastures?

Socrates: A most…colourful metaphor, Cephalus! It seems the financial noose of matrimony isn’t the only one tightening. The rising cost of living pinches harder than a hermit crab and whispers of “modern love” are leading many astray from the altar.

Cephalus: Precisely, Socrates! Who needs the expense of a lavish wedding when you can cohabit in a cosy nest, sharing expenses and dodging societal pressure!

Socrates: Indeed, Cephalus, it seems the once-mighty ship of matrimony now navigates a sea of stormy uncertainty. Yet, love remains a flickering candle in the wind, guiding lost souls towards their destinies!

Cephalus: Aye, Socrates! For in the end, a wedding ring is just a fancy metal circle. True love binds hearts stronger than any legal document, like barnacles clinging to a ship’s hull! Let us raise a toast to love, in all its messy, glorious forms!

Socrates: Hear, hear, Cephalus! Now, speaking of stormy seas, have you heard the latest buzz about the Opposition Alliance? Seems their love affair is on the rocks!

Cephalus: (Chuckles) Indeed, Socrates! The Labour Party, PMSD, and MMM are squabbling like children fighting over a last dodo egg – all because of electoral tickets, cabinet positions and constitutional posts!

Socrates: Ah, the tangled web of politics! It seems even the most passionate allies can’t resist the siren song of power and prestige. But tell me, Cephalus, do you think they’ll manage to patch things up for their big May 1st rally? Or will it be a political version of a one-person party, filled with awkward silences and empty chairs?

Cephalus: Well, Socrates, predicting politics is like trying to herd zebras – chaotic and unpredictable. One minute they’re promising a utopian future, the next they’re bickering like market vendors over a single, overripe papaya!

Socrates: Fascinating! So, political alliances are as flimsy as a house built on sandcastles during a high tide. But tell me, Cephalus, have you heard any whispers about the PMSD playing the role of a political gold digger in this alliance?

Cephalus: (Guffaws) Spot on, Socrates! It seems even in the world of political unions, there’s a hefty dowry involved. Much like a bride demanding a bigger diamond ring, the PMSD is said to be haggling over their share of the electoral spoils!

Socrates: A most apt comparison, Cephalus! Love and politics – both driven by a desire for something, be it a beating heart or a comfortable seat in parliament. Truly, as the French would say : “Décidément, les mariages à trois sont très compliqués!” (three is a crowd, especially in a marriage!”)

Cephalus: (Wipes a tear from his eye, still chuckling) You said it, Socrates! But hey, maybe that’s the beauty of this whole mess. It’s like watching a particularly dramatic Sega performance – full of flamboyant costumes, unexpected twists, and enough drama to fill a Shakespearean play!

Socrates: (Raises an eyebrow) A Sega performance, eh? Now that’s a colourful metaphor! Though, I must confess, I wouldn’t mind a bit less drama and a touch more decisive action. These politicians are starting to remind me of a flock of headless chickens, running around in circles!

Cephalus: Patience, Socrates! Patience! Remember, in politics, a quick decision is often a bad decision, especially when there are juicy scandals and public spats to keep the voters entertained. Think of it as a long, slow dance – full of calculated steps, hidden agendas, and the occasional strategic wardrobe malfunction, metaphorically speaking, of course.

Socrates: (Feigning horror) A wardrobe malfunction you say? Now that is something I wouldn’t mind witnessing! Though, I suppose the public already gets a front-row seat to enough political blunders to last a lifetime.

Cephalus: (Laughs heartily) Precisely, Socrates! Perhaps that’s the real entertainment – watching these politicians trip over their own egos and make promises emptier than a politician’s stomach after a long election campaign!

Socrates: (Chuckles) A most insightful observation, Cephalus! In the end, maybe love and politics aren’t so different after all. Both are messy affairs, filled with grand pronouncements, passionate arguments, and the occasional need to duck for cover when the mudslinging starts!

Cephalus: (Raises his cup in a toast) To love, politics, and the never-ending circus that keeps life interesting, even if it occasionally makes us want to hide behind a conveniently placed coconut tree on the rocky beaches of Grand Gaube, Roches Noires or Souillac!

Socrates: (Clinks his cup against Cephalus’) To that, my friend! And may the coming elections be a spectacle worthy of the gods, filled with twists, turns, and enough entertainment to rival a thousand ravanne nights!

Mauritius Times ePaper Friday 12 April 2024